ATTN People Who Read without Commenting
Crunching the Numbers: Your Vote Counts!
Statistics show that July and August are respectively 25% and 18% slower-than-average blogging months – BS (Bureau of Statistics, 2006).
Since I have upcoming posts on deck that I think are among “Possiblegospel’s” better ones, I figure why not wait until people come back from vacation and meanwhile catch up on business such as taking polls?
The Two Polls: One for Normal Commentators; One for the Vast Silent Majority of Blog Readers Who Never Make Comments
Normal Commentators: Would you like the next stalling-for-time post to be
- About a tree – this would be really good tree-writing…
- About sex – It’s pretty good, but the writing’s less compelling than the tree one.
- Something goofy and/or childish
Vast Silent Majority of Blog Readers:
I have often been told that people read blogs who are not themselves bloggers. PROVE IT! My thesis is that this can’t possibly be true and that hit counters just measure random hits accounted for by the fact that millions and millions of people go online and mistype stuff or otherwise accidentally click onto blogs...
So if there are people reading this blog who have never commented, I hereby demand proof of your existence. You guys must be extremely shy or unopinionated. Then don’t venture anything, just anonymously post a comment like, “Yes, I do exist!”
WARNING: Without mentioning any names for example MATTHEW, I am aware that certain bloggers who leave comments here have certain jocular tendencies that normally remain latent but which a post like this could easily draw out. Please, you guys who normally post, no signing in as Anonymous to try and distort the numbers. I want this to be free and fair voting but can’t afford a UN or Carter Foundation monitor.
SILENT MAJORITY PEOPLE: YOU can help reduce the risk of voter fraud by adding specific, compelling details to your remarks. Example:
Anonymous said… I am a nubile young woman who hangs upon your every word and must blushingly confess that I am as in love with the author as the blog itself.
Anonymous said… I am a Siberian fur trapper and can tell the difference between the tracks of a Ligerian Double-Pronged Brown Deer and the closely related Great Northern Gap-Toothed Antelope.
Thank you for your anticipated cooperation –