To All from Paul (aka Darius aka PBS)
I really appreciate people checking in from time to time and look forward to returning to blogging. It could be as much as a few or even several more months.
Just to clarify, I haven’t suspended blogging because of a downturn in health – that’s been going downhill for over a decade. I’ve been housebound and semi bedridden for years now - flat on my back on the order of eighteen or nineteen hours a day.
So without putting the blogging aside for a while, I’ll never finish a project I need to wrap up.
Without wanting to discourage good intentions, but…
Without wanting to discourage anybody’s good intentions, when it comes to the health problem, if you name it, I’ve tried it – along with a large number of things you’ve never heard of. I have a serious, severely disabling disease that we spent over ten years trying to resolve. We became semi pros at medical research; I traveled extensively, including Johns Hopkins and NIH. I saw world famous doctors.
And it turns out that there are a very small number of folks who have conditions that go beyond rare – they’re never diagnosed. That’s my status. We never gave up hope; it’s just that we tried everything, including every mainstream and alternative medicine people will want to suggest and some it’s unlikely any of you have ever heard of like myotherapy, spray and stretch, the Baldry technique, and even (frankly just to get my well meaning aunt to stop trying to sell me on it!) this deal where I sent my Polaroid photo to a guy in Canada who dipped it in his secret formula and then projected special energy rays at me for a couple hundred bucks.
Some of the boring details you may want to skip but since it sort of sounds like some people are wondering…
Though undiagnosed it’s nothing vague. No good days and bad days. Relentless progression for over twelve years. And while no vital organs are affected, pretty much everything that holds them together is. Findings include severe osteoporosis of the low back and left hip (despite normal hormone levels, which are normally off in men with osteo); skin lesions – only several of them, that developed over a period of years, but highly unusual: “consistent with Sarcoidosis” even though I don’t have Sarcoidosis; wasting away of soft tissue and connective tissue, including the padding on the soles of my feet (try Googling “loss of foot pad” – it’s unheard of); and permanent muscle spasms/taut bands throughout my back, shoulders, neck, and lower legs.
If you can name a relevant disease, I’ve been tested for it. And any disease you come across won’t be a good match for the findings I’ve just cited. The closest thing we found to a fairly good match was Mastocytosis – this was years after the doctors had pretty much given up and my sister and I were going all out on our own looking into rare diseases, what contaminants existed in the EPA clean up site in the hometown where we grew up… every angle you can think of. But I don’t have Mastocytosis. It was a simple blood test. And because one of the many things we learned over the years is that labs screw up tests once in a while, I had the test performed once the next year and once the year after that. Negative.
That’s it!
Thanks to everybody who keeps checking in, but I’ll be back… and with a new blog.
29 Comments:
Paul...so good to hear your voice once again. And I wish you the deepest form of blessing possible.
I only know you as Darius. I've missed you & have been checking every few days. But I know you through your blog and your comments on mine. Till July 2005 I too had been suffering from a chronic illness. I'd prayed, I'd tried everything for many years, but it got slowly worse. Then through Mickel Therapy - one session only - something inside me went click and it was cured. I slowly got stronger and am now fitter than at any time I can remember (albeit aged 64). So I have hope for you and I hope that your hope is never extinguished. I see your courage and the way this thing in your life has made you take refuge - or rather take residence - in spiritual resources. Whatever the outcome of your body's travails, you are the winner, but I see no reason why a miracle should not happen as it did for me. You have a great deal to contribute in this world - may you be liberated from this bondage soon!
You take care of yourself, Paul. Be well..
Have you tried prayer?
Hi Paul, glad for the update. Keep me posted! :)
It's great to hear from you. missed you.
there is a time for everything.
i hope the time for healing comes soon for you.
you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Our prayers are with you, every day, every minuet, you are not forgotten.
May your life be a shining light to those stuck in darkness.
May you forget your pain quickly and may your troubles bring you the best of reminders.
I pray that God grants you and your loved ones closeness to Him and peace in both this life and what ever is to follow.
Hi, dear Paul. It's good to be able to read your blog again. Though I confess I haven't read everything here... yet. I did follow your previous blog, spiritualdiablog.
May I ask if you're still interested in learning about other possible treatments? Or if you've grown tired of hoping and testing out new stuff? ...
I hope it's the former that's the case. I can recommend something if you're interested.
Thanks so much for all your kind words. As to concrete suggestions, either yes, we tried that and similar things; or it doesn’t apply based on things we've already learned about my condition.
- Paul
Paul, you were missed. My prayers for you.
OK, Darius, PBS, Paul.....Arnold!
AHA! That's it, isn't it?
You're really Arnold Swatzennegger, aren't you?!?
"I'll be back," indeed!
So, dang!
I gotta pray fer three.... FOUR names, eh?
Dude,
We're right there with you.
Paul, you continue to be in my thoughts. I have missed your writing and presence. Much strength to you.
I wish you peace in the Lord during this time.
Hi everyone, thanks for thinking of me and stopping by.
Wait till you see the new blog etc...
That's what I'm working on - mostly the "etc" part - and why I don't have time to blog right now. It's going reasonably well but taking even longer than I thought it would. Dealing with the health stuff, in terms of the hours it consumes per day, is more than a full time job. So I have to suspend this blog while gearing up for the new thing...
I really do appreciate the continued interest. It will be some months more but I hope people will find the result worth it.
No, I'm not telling...
I may do it in two stages - first get the new blog going, then phase two. Haven't looked into it enough to know which makes more sense yet.
Enough! Gotta work while I'm up -
Paul
Paul, Darius, Percival,
My dear fellow I have missed you. I cannot begin to comprehend the extent of this struggle but I do know that you have one of the sharpest minds that I have ever encountered in my entire life.
I wish that I could offer something other than encouragement but I have no doubt that the big 4 pounder holding your ears apart is your greatest weapon against this affliction, whatever it turns out to be.
I am so impressed by your fortitude. You really are an Awesome entity. I was totally in awe of you before I even knew of your challenge...now I am simply dumbfounded and humbled.
Great thinkers like you just don't grow on trees so if there is anything that I can do, whatever you need, just ask.
Seriously Paul, as far as I am concerned you are one of those 'breakthrough' guys.
Donn.
Hi Paul..You r in mind from time...It hard and nerve recking to go through it all...well we here when ever you are back...Prayers and good wishes are as alwys been sent you from here (down under Oman)
HOMO ESCAPEONS/DONN: Thanks so much - I'm honored.
IAMNASRA: I appreciate it. But I didn't know Australia was in Oman! Just goes to show, it's true what they say about Americans not knowing their geography...
(Yes, I'm kidding!)
i'm here again. continue to take good care of yourself k?
good to hear from you, have been checking in from time to time.
I anxiously await your next project, each post is 5 minutes of reading but thought for a week... take of your self...
Aidan
MISTIPURPLE, thank you for your thoughtfulness.
AIDAN, I appreciate the feedback, that's good to know.
*thinking... should i, shouldn't it.. one more comment won't hurt.. there'll be more though...*
oh hi!! *sheepish grin* i was so thinking of you.
Hi Paul,
Just stopping by to wish you a belated Happy Thanksgiving.
Also wanted to thank whoever recommended the movie "What the Bleep" in an earlier blog entry. Watched it this weekend and enjoyed it much. Lots of food for creative thought.
Hi Misti, hi Rachel, thanks for checking in and belated happy Thanksgiving --
Darius,
I've missed seeing your posts here and elsewhere. Looking forward to seeing you blogging again when you feel ready.
Don't ever give up hope. God Bless.
Just checking on you if ypu are alright
Paul Oman is in the middle east but meant down under if you look at the map from USA u will see us down under ...LOL
Hi Jeff, thanks for stopping by. I'm definitely more than ready to get back to blogging, but need to get something underway first that takes up a lot of my available time; otherwise the blogging will be very sporadic.
I'm making slow but steady progress.
Iamnasra: Yeah, I guess it's a good thing all countries don't use "down under" type nicknames. Otherwise, with "the right next to,
the little in-between, the halfway over" etc., geography would be an even more challenging subject. I guess the Arctic and Antarctic would be all right though: "the on top of" and "the really really down under..."
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